It is almost impossible that you have not heard by now that Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas did indeed get married in India this past weekend. The few photos we have are in the slideshow, but People has a ton more, including one overhead of the veil that is truly unreal. It was longer than Meghan Markle’s, which feels… not coincidental. Full disclosure, although you already know this, I think: Priyanka is someone I side-eyed a little in the run-up to Meghan’s wedding because she could not seem to keep Meghan’s name out of her mouth, and it left a weird taste in mine, given the silence of her castmates and other friends. So I carried some of that bias into this whole Nick Jonas relationship. Unlike The Cut this week, however, I am not alleging she is a “global scam artist” who has hijacked a wee innocent lad. That take has since been heavily edited without acknowledging it and then deleted altogether, and among many other issues, ignored the fact that they BOTH  participated in the industriousness that got a lot of the wedding hoopla sponsored — the highly publicized closing of Tiffany’s to pick the ring, a bridal shower there, a steady stream of blurbs about how hot he is for her in the tabloids, selling their wedding album to People. But the thing is, most people who can do some of those — maybe less so the first two but for sure the last — absolutely do, so they aren’t alone in this. Besides which, Nick Jonas is not some naive lost wanderer being taken in by Maleficent, and true love is certainly not mutually exclusive from having hustle. I personally hope they’re enjoying the fruits of both. Why not? They’re two hot people. Long may they bang in exciting locations.

Vogue, in its apparent desire to turn itself into other magazines, jumped onto the wedding story and is riding it as if it’s Us Weekly. But they are acting like Nick makes her interesting. Nope. Priyanka was already a big star, on her own merits. She’s megafamous in India, and a few years ago became the first Indian actress to front a major American broadcast show, Quantico, which was a hit when it premiered. And yet these facts alone seemingly were not enough to get her the cover of the coveted fashion Bible that is/was Vogue. Not then, not after the show was a success, and not even as it admittedly limped into non-existence (by which point she’d attended at least two of Anna’s Met Galas). No, it seems that the only way Priyanka Chopra landed a U.S. Vogue cover — considered more prestigious still than any of the international editions — was by getting engaged to a white 26-year old actor who’s popular with the Us Weekly crowd. To be clear, I am not saying Priyanka did all this to get a Vogue cover. I’m saying, shame on Vogue.

Vogue has strung this out as long as possible. It got maximum headlines for putting Priyanka on there, without actually giving us the cover yet — but instead forking over a whole bunch of online material. I suspect the coyness is because they knew that the Chonas wedding would happen a week or so before they typically have their issue ready to reveal, and they wanted to ride the wave. But will she have to share her space? Here’s the trail that’s leading us up to what we assume is next week’s release, courtesy of the Vogue Instagram.

Part 1: An interior shot.

Note that it calls Priyanka the cover star, which certainly implies that she’s fronting the whole book. Okay, good. But then the first thing it prioritizes about her, and the interview, is — yes — Nick Jonas. Okay, not good.

2. The digital covers.

Next, on the day of the Chonas wedding, Vogue revealed that Nick and Priyanka are starring in the magazine’s first-ever “digital covers.” My initial concern here, given the timing, was that calling her their “cover star” was a technicality because of this digital thing, and that next week they’d be like, “Presenting… FELICITY JONES!” But I cannot imagine they will do that. Right? What an uproar it would be.

These digital covers are moving pictures with spangly animated Vogue logos atop them… and are sponsored by and shot on a Google Pixel 3. So, yes, the digital covers were for sale; they’re essentially in service of two brands, Google and Chonas. And they are… well, just look:

Something about the attempt to hold hands here feels like they don’t do it very often? It’s just awkward-looking. Here’s the one Annie L. shot:

Ghastly. It’s an awful photo of Priyanka, who looks stressed and almost sickly, and the glimmering logo up there is total amateur hour — like an Angelfire site from 1998, when we were all discovering how to use this mysterious HTML language to make text blink.

3. After the wedding, some dancing.

In keeping with wanting to stay in the Chonas news cycle, we then got this special release:

What even is that. Seriously, is this a test balloon for video fashion spreads? I made a joke last month that Anna would rather drive the print edition into its grave than hand it off to another person (Edward Enninful being the popular theory), and given its Conde-mate Glamour’s recent bogus “pivot to video” I am super concerned to see Vogue doubling down harder on this stuff than on its actual cover — essentially, undercutting it.

4. More inside pics, potentially.

That is a nice shot — intimate and affectionate. I’ll take it, even if “Priyanka. Is. Wow.” is kind of a goofy anecdote. I don’t even mind goofy, though. But…

5. The cover story

When Vogue released it online, it confirmed my concerns: Yes, there is a chunk in the middle about Priyanka getting Quantico, and about her life and her fame, but it’s headlined “When Priyanka Met Nick: A Love Story,” and the entire thing is framed by their partnership. As if none of the rest of it really mattered, and was all a prelude to what does. Also,Nick Jonas seems a little self-impressed with all his grand proclamations. Seriously, he seems really really set on making sure we know that people heard and witnessed him getting down on one knee and asking where she’s been all his life. Roger, Nick. Copy that

6. The cover

We still don’t know if Priyanka is on the cover solo, or with Nick Jonas; we’ll find out soon enough. I certainly hope that the first Indian woman to appear on U.S. Vogue’s front cover is not doing so with a young white dude hanging all over her, as if he was the gateway she needed. She did not need it. I want her to own it herself, because whether she is your cup of tea or not, she more than qualifies for that space on her own merits, and without him in the picture — her life picture OR the actual Vogue shot.

[Photos: Manoj Verma/Hindustan Times/REX/Shutterstock, RAJAT GUPTA/EPA-EFE/REX/Shutterstock, AP/REX/Shutterstock, Sunil Verma/AP/REX/Shutterstock