“Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has turned on the fasten seatbelt sign! Please remain seated until he turns it off, or else I will have to come back there and cut you, and I don’t want to get blood on my blouse. Okey-dokey? The meal today is whatever the hell I give you, cocktails are four bucks apiece and if you ask me to break a Benjamin I will ben-jam it in your nostril and then deactivate your oxygen mask! Oh, yes, I can do that! Thankyousomuch. We know you have a choice in air travel, and we appreciate you choosing Tight Smile Crazy Eyes Airlines.”