In one corner, we have Eva Mendes the Jane Austen heroine, who is getting married in the village today.

I feel like this is what Marianne Dashwood would’ve looked like if she and Willoughby had ended up getting hitched. She’d be skipping through the town square, all, “Yeah, bitches, check out this fine piece.  He is mighty of loin and full of breeches and you get to STEP OFF because I totally put a ring on it.” Yeah, Jane Austen would’ve enjoyed the hell out of some Beyonce, let me tell you.

And from Quaint Village Wedding, we went to this:

I believe this is the entire Honeymoon trousseau. There is so much here that I am afraid I can see, and so much I want her to have kept to herself, that I can’t even process the fact that she’s stapled Hagrid’s best bow tie to her shoulder.

Tags: Eva Mendes