Well, first of all, please nobody put Selena in a corner. Or anyone at a red carpet event. It looks beyond claustrophobic.

 

It doesn’t help that her gown is not assertive — or at least, not in the ways one hopes. It does confidently evoke a person who saunters very slowly to a Saturday lunch at the University dining hall, hoping everyone concludes that her shapeless clothes are because she spent last night in a boy’s room.

Turns out part of the shapelessness is an optical illusion:

I just don’t think solving that mystery helps it at all. Now she looks like Slouchy Morticia Addams.

[Photos: Getty]