J.Lo.Hew is sort of growing on me lately, in part because I cannot get enough of her spectacular hair and eyelashes on The Ghost Whisperer, and in part because she’s dating sweet, sweet Liebgott from Band of Brothers (whom I accidentally killed in one of my old recaps; I spent the rest of the 10-episode run feeling really guilty about it because not only was he alive, but in fact he was rather helpful at times).
Mostly, though, I have affection for her because I appreciate a girl who’s not afraid to have curves. She’s healthy-looking, and a little naturally bodacious back-and-rack could do a lot of starlets in this town some real good; also, J.Lo.Hew has never once made me to want to go find her mother, knock on her door, and give her what-for about her daughter’s dangerous habits and lost youth. I’m sure her mother appreciates that as well.
I do wish she would learn to CLOTHE her curves properly. More often than not, she’s wearing something that makes her boobs look saggy — or, here, all over the place; between what is spilling out of the bodice up top and how low it seems to be holding everything else, I can’t figure out what’s happening to her poor chest. The criss-crossing at her waist spreads just low enough that it’s making her look like a spangly brocade pear. Unfairly, I would wager. What’s more, the cut of the dress hits her calves at their thickest point, and the ankle strap on her shoes is having a slight cankle effect on them.
The whole thing is one big miss, and that’s a shame, because she can rock what she’s got and a lot of the time she just… doesn’t. So snap to it, fair Liebgott. I mean it — start snapping photos before she leaves the house, to show her what she’ll look like on the red carpet. Don’t make me ask you twice.