This cover is fine! Actually, that’s not fair: I love that they broke out of the Cosmo box and did this outside. It’s so much more fun-feeling that the generic Lean Against a Wall Grabbing Your Thigh Cosmo cover  — even if Heidi looks like she’s car-jacking them after a yoga class, Audrina’s eyes are closed, and literal professional model Mischa Barton hasn’t fully pursed her lips yet. (Whitney, however, looks perfect. Good for you, Port.)

But the big question for me is: Is anyone going to care about this show without Lauren Conrad? I profoundly enjoyed The Hills, and if there were a marathon happening right now, I would be watching it so hard — but you can’t go home again. Moreover, while I wasn’t specifically a fan of LC — I didn’t dislike her, I just wasn’t particularly attached to her the way I think younger women were —  she was the emotional anchor of that show, and I don’t think the other three engender the same reaction from viewers. (I actually do think LC’s replacement, Mischa Barton, might do okay there, though. If nothing else, she is a professional actress.)

The piece was very well-written by Lindsay Weber, who does the Who? Weekly podcast; she does a particularly valiant job considering that I don’t think any of the women gave her anything very juicy to work with in their interviews, beyond Mischa Barton, who might be a secret hoot. To wit:

(Mischa has not watched Lindsay’s new reality series: “I’m so afraid,” she says. “I think it might send me into a tailspin.”)

And

“I haven’t hung out with Ashlee [Simpson], like, 10 years ago,” Mischa Barton, 33, offers. “I have a couple of funny stories about her. One time, we were waiting for her at dinner and I texted her, and she was like, ‘I just stopped off to get a tattoo.’ Just a quick before-dinner tattoo! I was like, ‘Okay, I don’t think you’re going to make it to dinner.’”

I miss the mid-aughts, when Ashlee Simpson would keep Mischa Barton waiting for dinner! Those were the days for outstanding low-level celebrity gossip and high-level celebrity fashion nightmares (though I might not have called them  “the best generation,” as Audrina did in this piece). Maybe I just want a show of Mischa Barton eating salads and talking extemporaneously about the summer of 2007? Someone, get going on that idea.

[Cover: Ben Watts]
Tags: Cosmo
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