In twenty minutes, Ms. Sevigny will be performing a selection of carefully curated 1940s Polynesian-inspired ditties and accompanying herself on the ukulele! Only in our world-famous Tiki Tiki Tiki Room, and only from the ankles up! Don’t miss it! It’s then going to turn slowly into a weird, retro Geisha thing, until the clash of kitschy cultural appropriations makes your head hurt a little bit! We’re also having a Mai Tai special — seven for five dollars!  COME ON DOWN!

In all sincerity, though, this is undeniably kooky. Chloe gets away with a lot, and I maintain that it’s because we’re all still super relieved she’s not going around wearing Art Garfunkel’s hair anymore.  Having said that, I love these shoes (mostly?) but I think wearing them with this dress moves the whole thing a little farther away from being the Chloe equivalent of Carrie Bradshaw! Only You Could Wear That! Bless Your Heart and a little closer to being  What the F#$^&k Is Bradshaw Wearing Now? Give Me A Break. (A spectrum of emotions well known to anyone who watched SatC).

I’d love them with a simpler dress, for sure, and I do admire her for matching her lipstick to her shoes — that takes major forethought — but…I mean, come on.  If Lea Michele showed up in this whole get-up, we’d all be chortling over the horror. And yet on Chloe I find it kind of….typical and rather As It Should Be. Because her As It Should Be is totally wacktacular, anyway.