Is this the most electifying thing Keira has ever worn? No. Is it even a little electrifying? … No.

But it’s a nice color, and it’s… not… it’s… sort of…. I’m tapping out, y’all. It’s not bad. It’s not great. Let’s unfug it: Lose the pizza, make it properly floor-length, give it a gold strappy shoe that I can’t really see but I’l feel better knowing it’s there, and scale back the severity of her hair by about 43 percent. There’s raw material here, and I’m certainly not clutching any pearls or other adornments over it, but she looks… kind of like Baby in Dirty Dancing before she started having fun — you know, when she would carry the watermelons instead of juicing them, if you know what I mean. AND YOU DO. (I’m talking about sex.)(Badly.)(Like, seriously, juicing a watermelon is a terrible euphemism. Kids, don’t have sex. But if you do, don’t expect it to be like that.)(The more you know.)

[Photo: Getty]