KELLY MACDONALD: Do I know you?

ALEKSA PALLADINO: I’m ON YOUR SHOW.

KELLY: Really?? I don’t recognize you at all.

ALEKSA: Yes, you do.

KELLY: Are you sure?

ALEKSA: I play the bohemian lesbian artist who’s fake-married to Michael Pitt.

KELLY: OH RIGHT. The only BORING topless bohemian lesbian artist fake-married to Michael Pitt IN THE WORLD.

ALEKSA: I can’t help it that my character is kind of unbearable. In fact, if you haven’t noticed, YOU are the only woman on the show who IS bearable. Except for also the Sassy Prohibitionist Feminist who taught you about birth control. Let’s face it: that lady probably rocks. Also, the one who sings at the speakeasy seems like fun. Oh, okay: and Gretchen Mol is actually also secretly pretty good on the show. Shit. You’re right. I’m the Unbearable Link.

KELLY: As long as we’re being honest, I’m not that crazy about your dress. Sorry, babe.

ALEKSA: It is boring. But yours is great:

VAST. IMPROVEMENT. Now, let’s get you a little lippie, and babe, we’re in business.