[Photos: Splash News]

THANDIE: WHAT did I say? What do I ALWAYS say?

SCHWIMMER: … I don’t know. Never do a guest-stint on ER?

THANDIE: No. You know very well what it was, but I want to hear it from you. What did I SPECIFICALLY tell you?

SCHWIM: Oh, fine, whatever. You told me to wash up and shave, and stop wearing my scarf like this with my shirt open and a giant coat, because it looks like I’m maybe naked, and blah blah blah.

THANDIE: You’re damn RIGHT that’s what I said. Look at yourself! You look like you’ve been on a bender since 2006.

SCHWIM: But why should I listen to you? If that type of lacy shorts thing didn’t work on Rihanna then it definitely wasn’t ever going to work on you. You’re old enough to play her MOTHER, for God’s sake.

THANDIE: What?!? Only on a soap where they rapidly age kids 15 years in two episodes, so WATCH IT, Ross. I was only trying to help you look less smelly. But if you imply I look anything less than fabulous at 35, I will drag you out of this dive bar and SO HELP ME JESUS I will beat some sense into you with a Norelco and some Pantene.

SCHWIM: Fine, fine. I’m sorry. Let’s make a pact. You check with me before you consider taking fashion tips from a book of funeral parlor wallpaper samples, and I’ll… you know, bathe, and stuff.

THANDIE: And the scarf with the open shirt?

SCHWIM: I’ll cool it, I promise. Is it really that bad?

THANDIE: Is mine?



SCHWIM: Okay, then.

THANDIE: Now go get us a pitcher. And MAKE IT A PRICEY ONE.