The Secret Life of the American Teenager is one of those shows that you can describe in a way that makes it sound hilariously awesome, but if you WATCH it, you want to rip your head off your own neck and drop-kick it into the neighbor’s flowerpots. For instance, Francia Raisa here plays a majorette named Adrian whom Wikipedia claims “has a reputation for being easy because she enjoys casual sex and also because Adrian had oral sex with Jack, Grace’s boyfriend, to make Ricky jealous.” It then notes that she is “secretly” a good student, because a great message to send is that smart girls need to shut their yaps and act vapid, and that this Grace person — who herself lost her virginity right before her father died in a plane crash, thus convincing her that Teen Sex Killed My Dad — is trying to help Adrian revirginize herself. That sounds just crazy enough to work, right? Except that when you SEE the show, it’s full of five-minute monologues on why God probably wouldn’t kill your Dad just because you decided to sleep with your boyfriend BUT YOU SHOULDN’T DO IT AGAIN JUST IN CASE, and then lots of non-chemistry between the actors and really forlorn expressions and scenes that are as slow as pouring frozen molasses from a jar.

This dress may have been similar: great in a verbal portrait, but terrible in actuality.

People's Choice Awards 2010 - Red Carpet
Although come to think of it, that’s not possible. Beause when the person on the phone said to her, “You’ll be wearing a tube dress that looks like it’s being digested by a jellyfish,” I am not sure what possible positive outcome Francia could’ve expected.