Ugh, I just wrote a long, impassioned piece about Carey Mulligan here, and then my browser hiccuped and I lost the whole thing. Let’s see if I can recreate what I assure you was MAGIC:

82nd Annual Academy Awards - Arrivals

My talking points were: When we saw this from the waist up, while Carey was milling around the red carpet, I loved loved loved it. Do I sort of wish she’d worn a color? Yes — but I think the bodice and the beading are divine, and her much-questioned new hair is correspondingly much improved. (It has been noted that the beading on her dress is, partially, wee little scissors and knives and forks and spoons, which I admit I find very charming indeed. I love tiny things.)

And then we saw the shoes. You guys, those shoes make me want to cry. On their own, I suspect they’re very cute. But very cute with something less formal, and something a bit shorter. (Like, I’m picturing them right now worn with a red pencil skirt I own, that hits right at the top of the knee and they’re adorable.) But worn with this particular hem, they just look clonky and orthopedic. I don’t actually hate the asymmetry of the hem. It’s just that the line of the hem and those indelicate shoes combine so potently that all I can do is STARE AT THEM TOGETHER. It’s distracting, it’s bottom-heavy, and it’s kind of a shame, because I suspect that, as separate pieces, they’re both kind of great. It’s just TOGETHER they create chaos. Kind of like when you have two friends who are both awesome, but they start dating and everyone finds out that they’re a really incredibly annoying couple, each of whom brings out the worst in the other. And you really don’t want your Oscar Outfit to be That Couple Everyone Wishes Would Just BREAK UP ALREADY. Do you?