I enjoy a lot of things about The Tomei.

This is not one of them.

This,  on the other hand, is about one kazillion times more flattering — both in cut, and in color — and it makes her look approximately forty years younger than the first one. Oh, Marisa. One day I’ll get to tell the story of the time I worked with you and how I spent the whole time wondering what your skin care routine was (because it was clearly so superior to mine), and also how it turned out that you were maybe a leeeetle eccentric, but that day is not today, so I will just say: stick with shocking pink next time, okay? Stay golden.