Cameron Diaz appears to have caught High And Tight Syndrome (possibly from Heidi Klum, who has grappled with it all her life and should really start a foundation). This is a dress that screams, “BUT DO YOU GET IT?” and we yell back, “WE DO, AND WE WOULD STILL HAVE GOTTEN IT WITH AN EXTRA FIVE INCHES.” Because guess what this dress originally came with? An extra five inches. Which she sawed off just to underline It, highlight It, circle It, and then put squiggly Cathy sweat lines around It. Between that and the bad pocket and the whiff of desperation — it smells like astroturf and sweat — I can’t help being disappointed. Cam was so flawless last season — for the ceremony and the post-party — that I really wish we could get a do-over here. There is more fabric on her chest than on her thighs. Also, did she forget makeup, or am I just being overly hard on her? In the close-up… I don’t know. It’s there, but it’s not. I just want some false eyelashes up in this thing, you know? Just to see. Just to TRY. Instead all her effort went at reminding you that she’s totally cut. Cam, you could’ve spread it around a bit.