Call this one the Battle of the Bobs, or the Case of the Wet-Look Black Sequined Dresses, although frankly that last one sounds way more boring. It’s like the sequel to The Curious Case of Benjamin Button, if that movie were about accessories.
Anyway, let’s start with Rose Byrne, shall we?
The trouble with this gown, I think, is that it’s cut to be Grecian and drapey, except sequins generally don’t really DO Grecian and drapey, so the effect is just ill-fitting. Like someone just skipped a stone on a lake and it’s still rippling. Also, I know the shoes are peep-toe platform pumps, but from this angle they remind me of these hideous thick-soled slip-on sandals I bought at Nine West about fourteen years ago, back when such things were in style. I had buyer’s remorse about three days later; they were like rubberized hooves. I’m surprised I didn’t get drunk one night and turn up at a blacksmith’s. So now I have an awkward flashback associated with this dress, and I covet the spiky shoes of the lady walking through the background. Neither will be cured anytime soon, so let’s wash away the taste with a shot of the back:
From THIS angle, I love it. And in the end that may set it apart from the contender in the opposite corner, Anna Faris:
It’s a little overwhelming, and the top keeps giving me leotard vibes — like she’s at the Impractical Gymnastics Olympics, and is about to go into a doomed floor routine. But the bob is an improvement on her longer hair, I think, and at least the dress itself appears to be cut in a way that’s true to the fabric. It does not have delusions. It knows what it is. The question is, do we LIKE what it is, or did Rose do it better?
- Rose wins (72%, 9,554 Votes)
- Anna wins (6%, 815 Votes)
- Eh. Neither. (21%, 2,816 Votes)
Total Voters: 13,185