Camila Banus here is not, as far as I can tell, on The Cape — or, as we’re calling it at GFY HQ, THE GREATEST SHOW EVER MADE. Seriously. Have you seen the previews? They are BEYOND campy. I mean, for one thing, you’d THINK than an NBC show call The Cape would be a nighttime soap about Cape Cod, but, no. It’s about a dude in a cape.

She also is not in a new production of Aladdin, no matter what her harem pants jumpsuit is telling you. She DID used to be on One Life to Live, however, where she killed her own mother after finding her in bed with a man who was not her father, but did not bother to tell anyone this even after her actual father got accused of it and sent to a Colombian maximum security prison. She also tried to trick her half-sister’s boyfriend into impregnating her (her half-sister, not herself, although I think the latter might have been a kickier storyline) and then stupidly took drugs at the prom and confessed to everything and got hauled off to a Sanitarium. (Naturally, Llanview has its own sanitarium.) Now, I guess she’s on Days of Our Lives, where I can only hope for her sake that she will become embroiled with Luis from Passions, even if his character is dating Sami (or was, last time I looked), because Luis from Passions is hot, and perhaps also kind enough to overlook said harem pants jumpsuit.