AUDRINA: So, here we are. Totally dating.
RYAN CABRERA: YEEEEEEAH, DOG.
AUDRINA: It’s so… great. We’re really happy. See my smile? It’s there. And happy.
RYAN: That’s RIIIIIIGHT. Drink it in, America.
AUDRINA: I mean, YOU might see a guy in a douchehawk and James Spader’s wardrobe from Pretty In Pink crossed with something a circus ringmaster would wear…
RYAN: These pants are the JAM, fools. And also the COLOR of jam. SNAP.
AUDRINA:… but I see, um, you know, happy. Even though I am more famous than he is, I am still with him because, you know, it’s…. he’s so… Hey, would anyone like to just admire the shiny, shiny lotion I used on my legs, instead? No?
RYAN: A contract is a a contract, A-Pat! LOVE ME UP.
AUDRINA: Can I have a headache?
RYAN: Not more than twice a week, per item ten, paragraph B, subsection iii.
AUDRINA. Damn. I mean, yay!