Every time I see Millie Bobby Brown interviewed, she comes off as very personable and enthusiastic and excited, and yet for most of her magazine shoots all anyone wants to elicit from her is sultry boredom or weird cosplay. Take, for example, Exhibit A up there: The first of her two digital covers for Glamour in the UK. It’s a hilariously bad photo on its own — she appears to be fighting wretched jet lag from inside a tutu? — but then when you combine it with the “A’WOKE’NING” pun it becomes even sillier. She does not seem awake enough to be woke, nor active enough to be an activist. The headline should be, “The Deep-Rooted Ennui of Millie Bobby Brown,” or, “The Naptivist Issue.” Also, SHE’S 15. I feel like we SCREAM this every time someone tries to make her look pouty and sensual, and no one seems to hear. SHE IS NOT EVEN LEGAL FOR THREE MORE YEARS.

Glamour probably should have gone with this cover, though it’s not without problems:


Same cover lines, same theme… and yet this time, she’s heavily eye-rolling everything?!? Why is she being directed to look like she’s MOCKING her own activism? And she’s done up like the rich cliquey jerk in an ’80s high school movie, for no apparent reason; at least she appears alive and well-rested, but unless she is ACTUALLY remaking Teen Witch then Glamour might’ve needed a third attempt.

Read the story if you dare. Orlando Bloom, it might not surprise you, is a terrible interviewer. He pitches her such insightful queries as, “Do you remember where we met?” and “And now you are about to release your first feature film, Godzilla 2! How important was that project to you?” He does also ask her about being a UNICEF Ambassador, but not without talking a fair bit about himself in that regard. It’s exhibit 9,000 of why paying actual journalists to do that job is worth the investment, instead of just handing Orlando a tape recorder and then making an intern stitch together an intro.