After my self-prescribed ban on using the name that rhymes with Bon Jamm, a reader e-mailed me yesterday to ask if I could please break that rule and examine his crotch.
No, really. She did. And because I’m a giving sort, I set out to do one without violating the other.
The reader asked if suits are supposed to fit this way, or whether we’re just being treated to too-tight trousers that answer the question, “Does the actor who rhymes with Lon Schlamm dress left?” And in truth I have no idea how suit pants are supposed to fit, because I know nothing about menswear except that I am not fond of the brown tie and white-collared pink shirt that Yon Ramm is wearing. However, it would seem that a man is entitled to some privacy about where he stores his berries, especially if he has a lot of rabid fans who might want to go on a fruit-picking expedition. So the question is: Ill-fitting pants, unfortunate side-effect of the suit-wearing man’s life, or optical illusion?
Here’s a photo of Ron Yamm from the other side, if it helps you decide:
It’s not house-key shaped; it’s not car-key shaped. And if that’s from his hand being in his pocket, then Von Spam must have record-setting thumbs.