Hey y’all,

Y’all. You KNOW I am really busy with the X-Files when you see the ad for my new perfume which is a mix of my two other perfumes or my perfume and someone else’s perfume or…okay, listen, I don’t really know what I’m selling. BUT LOOK AT IT. I would like to testify that I had nothing nothing nothing to do with anything that had anything to do with this:

Who wants to buy a perfume that turns your hair brown and makes you all impervious to gravity OR one that MAKES FEATHERS COME OUT OF YOUR ARMPITS?? That seems like a TERRIBLE THING TO HAPPEN. Y’all, I know everyone on my “team” thinks I’m secretly kinda dumb but even I know that no one wants to buy something that turns you into a bird.

Everyone’s fired. Seriously, all y’all. Fired. GET OUT.