In our current line of work, it seems like we’ve become well-versed in the behavior of the fame-whore. As such, we have a few pieces of advice for aspiring mayor of Wasilla, and of total tacky grossitude, Levi Johnston — who has done so much fame-whoring in the last month or so that he might be running out of ideas for prolonging his fifteen minutes:

5) Record an Album.
Assuming that because the world knows your name, you therefore have untapped reserves of musical genius — talent that it would be cruel not to share — is a classic famewhore move. Look at Kevin Federline and his seminal work, “Popozao.” (And may we suggest they’d make excellent touring partners?)