Kate Hudson has always seemed to me like someone who would be completely at home in legwarmers, thick athletic tights, a sweatband, and a leotard with a belt, her hair in a one-sided half-pony poking akimbo out of the top of her head. Imagine her grinning wildly while throwing her arms in the air, and one knee up at a time, bouncing around in a hopelessly ’80s studio. It just works. So this whole retro vibe and the rainbow leotard play right into that for me. It’s goofy, but it actually makes total sense to me. She should be in a movie about the aerobics revolution, in which she plays Denise Austin and Jane Fonda is played by… well, Jane Fonda could probably just do it, honestly. Or just go guest on on GLOW.
Of course, I’m not a huge fan of how her eye makeup projects a tired aura. And I’m going to stake some money on a lot of this having been airbrushed, starting with her butt and rounding down into that front leg; while I’m sure legs are not the same girth when you’re putting weight on one and bending the other, these two seem unusually out of sync. And, it’s jarring to see her with a full head of hair, given that we were just discussing how the buzz cut looks on her — and she’s had that for a while. I wonder if the Cosmo editors swore a blue streak the day they saw she’d done it, knowing it would make their carefully shot cover look like a rerun. Then again, doesn’t Cosmo always look a little bit like a rerun? Sexy sexy sex on the top left, a dumb emoji somewhere, a phrase no one uses (“Bro Night”), a medical story, and a perfunctory work-empowerment… hey, wait, they didn’t even bother with that this time in favor of sneaking the word “ASS” on the cover. Is that a first for a magazine they sell in the check-out line? And if so, is that really the kind of trail Cosmo is committed to blazing now? Okay.