“FEEL GOOD NOW,” Elle Canada urges us, over a cover photo in which Julia Roberts appears to be emerging after a three-day quarantine for the stomach flu. “Crackers,” she croaks. “And Gatorade. NO, don’t get near me, I haven’t brushed my teeth since the vomiting stopped.”

I’ve written before about how magazines cannot resist the urge to announce that JULIA! is with us. It happens almost all the time. I’m almost impressed that Elle Quebec resisted the temptation in October:

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That’s pretty clearly the same photo shoot, yet somehow, Elle Quebec got it first and scooped the slightly better shot. I believe the headline is proclaiming her indomitable or unbeatable, and while the pose doesn’t QUITE evoke that — she just seems sort of bored at the gala planning night for her kids’ school’s silent auction — at least she seems not to be shuffling out in her bathrobe. Maybe this is the “before” shot. Maybe someone served her a bad salmon canape.

Parenthetically, I know it’s because Elle Quebec is in French, but Canada having two Elles is giving me wonderfully soapy fantasies of the two of them HATING EACH OTHER and engaging in constant magazine wars and pranking, like Cheers and Gary’s Olde Towne Tavern. Don’t tell me if it’s not true. I need my fantasies right now.

[Photos: Elle Canada, Elle Quebec]