“Hello? Who’s there? Oh, you paparazzi scamps! How did you know to be right outside my house, on the very day and at the VERY time I happen to be leaving to do a talk-show appearance to promote my new movie??!?!? Are you PSYCHIC? Amazing! And have you heard about my new movie, The Client List, or as I like to call it, The Po’ Ho? My character accidentally turns to prostitution to deal with the recession, which is why I’m pimping it — HA, get it, “pimping”? — by wearing stripper shoes. Now, you might say, “Jennifer, that Ren Faire dark-knight-armor shirt doesn’t go with your sequined shorts,” and ordinarily, I might agree with you, Sweet Psychic Paparazzi, but see, it’s SYMBOLISM. I learned from extensive research, which involved hanging out with other people who have at one time or another pretended to be prostitutes, that they really like wearing sequins and they TOTALLY wear shorts because it gets hot sometimes on The Street and in motels and stuff, right? And the shirt is because my character has to put up ARMOR in order to DEFEND HER FAMILY against the ECOMONY… get it? You do.
“Well, I’m so glad we ran into each other, but as I’m SURE you were totally unaware when you randomly showed up at my curb, I have to go do Leno! And I don’t mean “do Leno” the way I would if I were in character — whose name you will not find in IMDb, which is to make you tune in, because oh my God, what would such a fearless economic warrior be called?!?!? CURIOSITY! Which, come to think of it, would also make a good name for an accidental prostitute! Anyway, tune in! It’s going to be awesome! Bye!”