I’ve long thought Team Bey could stand to reboot things a bit, and matching her to a designer like Proenza Schouler seemed like an interesting start.

Then she turned up in a plunging black semi-transparent gown that basically feels like when a Director’s Cut DVD just adds a few thoroughly average lines and moves a scene and you regret spending the money. Beyonce Inc. seems to thrive on people’s fascination with her, but this whole ensemble bespeaks a person who’s not even that fascinated with herself anymore.  Maybe the Beygency has cracked human cloning, and the Chief of Biotech and Weaveology dispatched an early prototype to stand on the Grammy red carpet while the real thing meditated on the incredibly subtle task she had laid out for herself:

This performance… I mean, she sounded fine, she can hit the glory notes. If you LOVE Beyonce, it probably did nothing to change that. If you don’t love Beyonce, it probably did nothing to change THAT. It was very “I MYSELF AM A RELIGIOUS EXPERIENCE” but I had a fantastic sandwich the other day and so frankly I’m full up on spirituality for the moment.

[Photos: Getty]