Rihanna is fascinating to me. Style-wise, she is all over the map — tight satin, lace bodysuits, short skirts, leather, and more — and while there’s nothing wrong with that, it means that Rihanna is also a bit of a roller-coaster. She’s under a huge fashion umbrella-ella-ella, is what I’m saying (because you all know I can’t resist the hacky joke when it’s there, and even sometimes when it’s not).

As proof, check out her array of Grammy outfits. First, the ones I more-or-less liked:


Some of the details on this are nice; others are overly fussy. Mostly, the skirt just makes me wonder if it’s a tribute to Sam The Eagle, or perhaps what one would wear if she was the Bride of Grover. Still, on the whole, it works. And she IS young, after all. That’s the time to play around with ruffles, both of the fabric AND potato-chip variety.


This one, for me, turned out pretty cute also. The longer I look at it,
the more I think the ruffles work — at first I feared they looked like
she poked her arms through two giant Fancy-Dress Scrunchies, but
actually they’re an interesting way to spice up the classic little
black dress. Unfortunately, though, when I factor in the hair, I can’t
get over thinking she looks like some kind of exotic bird.

But maybe that’s just because I had already seen her in this ode to A Creature:



Were there a dominatrix living in Fraggle Rock, this is what she’d wear.

This, however, is what S&M Fraggle would buy for her mother, who lives in a pottery commune in New Mexico and needs a gown for the opening-night gala of the “Meditation Through Clay: From Agateware To Aiken” convention.


There is hiding your light under a bushel, and then there is going out to the desert in the middle of the night to bury your light under six feet of earth and a large shrubbery just to make absolutely sure that no one finds it. Dorothy Zbornak would take one look at this and snort, “Nice chastity shroud.” And that is a woman who, may I remind you, LAYERS HER SWEATERS. And is not on the cusp of twenty. I’m not saying Rihanna should be ripping off her shirt and running through the streets, or sharing nylons with Paris Hilton, but this seems a bit of an extreme move in the opposite direction.