Y’all know how much I love this woman, and thus how much it will pain me to say this, but: I think not.

We make a lot of jokes about bed linens, and towels, and whatnot. But I can’t think of a dress in recent memory that looks MORE like a very fancy king-sized sheet wrapped sarong-style around a body-shaper. This woman has a kick-ass body. Why engulf it in something that looks like the prototype for taking the “Beyond” section of your local Bed Bath to a new level?

However, if she just wants us to think she spends all her time in the sack having mad-hot sex, well, I understand that. Because although I do not like this dress on her, there is nothing at all wrong with this accessory:

Her husband is delicious. Well played, Julianna. A fug is just one night; we hope that fab lasts a lifetime. Also, your child is going to be freaking hot. I’m just saying. Forget Moses Paltrow Martin or the Jolie-Pitt kids; that little boy will be the Hollywood heartbreaker nobody saw coming until now.