You guys know how I feel about fishtails (snore), and this feels like so much that has come before it.

So it’s not that I am unsheathing my J’accuse finger and screaming “FUG” at the top of my lungs. But I sort of feel like Julia Stiles is, endearingly, the girl who doesn’t really come to this stuff, so when she needed a dress, she called up somebody and was like, “Eh, I guess… one of those one-shoulder jobbies with the poofy skirt that starts at the thighs, right? Isn’t that how it’s done?” And that person thought, “Aha, I can finally use that one Penelope Cruz turned down back in 2007!” And so Julia put it on and did her thing, and the dress kind of ate her alive, and then she went home and counted her money and forgot it ever happened. As will we, I suspect.