NAYA RIVERA: Life is good when you’re on a hit show, dude!
HEATHER MORRIS: I know! I’m the character everyone wants to see more of — which means that, like Sue Sylvester, I’ll probably get overused so much in season two that it’ll dilute my effectiveness — and people totally want my autograph!
NAYA: And did you see that Ryan Murphy said we’re all having sex in our trailers?
HEATHER: YES. Awesome. They should make a show about backstage on Glee.
NAYA: I suspect they already are. It’s called an E! True Hollywood Story, and they’re just waiting for one of us to give up a rock-bottom photo. You’re close…
NAYA: Well, I mean, that dress is kind of a shapeless mess, honey.
NAYA: And your hair, when you do it like that, looks like one of Miley’s terrible Hannah Montana wigs. The ones that cost Disney Channel two cents because they bought them at a Forrest Gump clearout sale.
HEATHER: This is your evidence that I’ve hit rock bottom?
NAYA: Look, I’m just trying to be your friend.
HEATHER: Do people punch their friends in the cleavage? Because that would make a great Act 2 for our E! THS.
NAYA: Whatever gets you screen time, sweetie.
HEATHER: Oh, it is so ON. If you’re ever having sex in your trailer, I’m going to pull the fire alarm.
NAYA: Bring it, beeyotch.
HEATHER: Oh, it’s broughten.