I wish I could’ve seen where this dress might have ended up had the designer gone with just one of these two fabrics, instead of both together:

Second Annual

As it is, in an attempt to be Very Interesting, the design choice instead leaves us with a garment that appears to be alerting us to Jessica’s right boob — as if we might not have known she had one, for instance, or as if need to keep an eye on it because it’s up to no good, or is about to attempt something shocking like pulling a rabbit out of itself. For one thing, I like to think that I wouldn’t need the aid of her clothing to notice a bunny coming out of there, and for another, just think of the resentment this preferential treatment could cause between it and her left breast. Life is hard enough without your boobs being in a blood feud.