Every week I kick off this post with some kind of comment about how relieved I am to see Friday. If only there were some kind of handy acronym for that….

– The only way to kick off a weekend is to examine whatever happened to the teen stars of that NBC morning show, California Dreams. I hate to shock you, but the answer is not, “massive success as actors.” (Pralines and Dick)

– In honor of Father’s Day this Sunday — and in honor of my habit of linking to pictures of hot dudes, shall we peruse a slideshow of Models’ Hot Baby Daddies? Don’t let me stop you. Simon Le Bon is included! (Modelinia)

– In the wake of all this hoo-ha about American Apparel’s employee dress code (and, let’s be honest, face code), The Cut examines dress codes and interview practices at other major retailers. Very interesting. (The Cut)

– I always tell people I don’t have a sweet tooth (I don’t. I mean, I like sweets, but I would rather have a piece of cheese), but I do have a salt tooth. Turns out this means I also have SUPER POWERS. I knew it! (Squid Ink)

– Apparently, almost every book includes the phrase, “somewhere, a dog barked.” I never noticed this before, but I will be on the lookout now. (Slate)

– Did you know that Snoop Dogg wrote a song about Sookie Stackhouse and how much he loves her, and HBO let him film a video on set? Because it’s awesome. It’s kind of like celebrity-penned fanfic, honestly. (HBO)

– If you haven’t been keeping up with the adventures of the world’s WAGs (wives and girlfriends of soccer players; Posh being the most famous; please do read Kickette, if you’re not already), Vanity Fair has a nice run-down of Who’s Who. (VF.com)

– This story — of a bullpen catcher writing his number on a ball and tossing it to fan, with romantic results — is going to make the cutest rom-com. It already makes for a very sweet article. (Seattle Times)

This story of kidnapping and drug abuse from Jeremy London seems fishy to me. Fishy, and sad. Poor London Twin. I enjoyed you on Party of Five. Man, someone needs to re-run that show again. I STILL think of Matthew Fox as Charlie, which is why I was always confused for a split second on Lost when someone would ask him where Charlie was. (Gawker)

Snooki has announced she’s going on the cookie diet. That sort of follows, honestly. What does not follow is the information contained herein, which is that the cookies in the cookie diet have BEEF IN THEM. Where I come from, we call beef cookies, “hamburgers.” (Celebitchy)

Per the NY Times, the fade is back! I sincerely hope this means I’m going to see kids walking around looking like Dwayne Wayne soon. Flip-up glasses and all. Seriously, that would be fun. (NY Times)

– Dear Lord. Now there’s a Twilight cookbook. (On the menu: blood.) (Village Voice)

This dude had to amputate his own arm, and he got through the ordeal thinking about MacGyver. I can sort of see that, to be honest. Also, this guy is a bad-ass. Also, these are the sort of stories that make me worry that I’m going to die under a bookshelf or something, because I live alone. (People)

– Which is why the new plan is to move in with Bradley Cooper. That’ll work, right? He can speak fluent French to me to calm me, as he removes the bookshelf from the back of my neck. (Lainey)

– Yes, I DID react to the news that there will be a new Sweet Valley High series was INTENSE GLEE and maybe some clapping! I CAN NOT WAIT TO READ IT. (1Bruce1)

– I am going to merely tell you the name of this piece: “I’m Comic Sans, Asshole.” YES. (McSweeney’s)