— Another Friday. IT’S A MIRACLE. Seriously, sometimes we get to the end of the week and I think, “how did I find yet more things to say about leggings?” Thank you, Lindsay Lohan, for showing me the way. One thing that kept us sane was following the Sweet Valley High-related shenanigans at The Dairi Burger. So funny. (Another great SVH related read that I am pretty sure I’ve mentioned here, but I can’t remember: 1Bruce1. It’s more than just the best vanity place since I8A4RE) Check them out — if only because, as I pointed out at some point last week, I am a Jessica whose sister is named Elizabeth. Am I prone to staying out all night with men in mustaches? What do you think? (The Dairi Burger and 1Bruce1)

– Almost as good as SVH: Shakespeare. Or, if you’d rather, Romeo and Juliet in Twitter form, courtesy of The Royal Shakespeare company. CLASSY. Also, the title is genius. (Such Tweet Sorrow)

– In honor of the Ugly Betty finale (sob. I will miss you Mark and Amanda! And Wili) a look at TV’s many fictional publications. Also, a helpful reminder that Richard Alpert once worked his guyliner on Suddenly Susan. (Movieline)

Teen Vogue has an exclusive excerpt from Candace Bushnell’s new book, The Carrie Diaries. Interesting that she’s taking a YA slant on it. OBVIOUSLY I will read it. Oh my god, do you think they’re going to make a TV show out of this? That could be an amazing idea or one that goes down in history as possibly the worst thing ever. But if they can make it solely out of reaction shots culled from SJP’s stint in Square Pegs? BACK TO AWESOME. (Teen Vogue)

– Dear Lainey, thank you for continuing to feed my Jon Hamm obsession. NO SERIOUSLY. THANK YOU. (Lainey)

Forbes names the 15 richest fictional characters in the world. Coveted number one? Carlise freaking Cullen. I AM SO SURE. IF HE’S SO RICH WHY IS HE LIVING IN THE BACK OF NOWHERE IN — you know what, don’t get me started or we’ll be here for twenty minutes while I rail on about how if I were a vampire, I’d live somewhere with a better nightlife and more drunk hot people, like Paris or something. Plus, Paris has catacombs! PERFECT for vampires! And — no. I am moving on. (Forbes)

I can’t believe we didn’t know that Shannen Doherty has an autobiography coming out this fall. I CAN NOT WAIT. Will it be better than Posh’s? We shall see. (Pink Is the New Blog)

Chad Ochocinco is getting his own dating show. Are we setting the DVR for this? HELL YES. (VH1)

Here’s your SWINTON for the week. You’re welcome. (Dazed Digital)

– This Lederhosen-inspired bag is perfect for my all beer steins! (Nylon)

Is Katie Price pregnant? IMAGINE THE MATERNITY WEAR!!! (Celebitchy)

Wait, Wait, Don’t Blog Me staffers chronicle the experience of eating the infamous KFC Double Down. You guys, I totally want to try one. Is that wrong? Not every day. Just once. Kind of like bungee jumping. (NPR)

I’d REALLY want one after one of these cocktails, but because they’re the world’s five best in-flight cocktails, unless KFC has an outpost in JetBlue, I’m out of luck. (Jaunt)

– Sometimes I love people. Even when they’re vandals. Especially when they’re the vandals behind these hilarious defacements. (Urlesque)

– Refinery29 takes us through every painting in MoMA in 2:05. (Refinery29)

– Finally, please enjoy Jezebel’s excellent tribute to Dixie Carter via a selection of her best Julia Sugarbaker rants. I think one of my favorites — linked in the comments — is where she announces that, in the South, they’re proud of their crazy people and like to show ‘em off. A whole section of my family laughed extra hard at that. (Jezebel)