Let’s do this thing. We’ve all got holiday parties to attend and wassail to consume, am I right?

– You may have seen this on our Twitter: It’s the story of a man whose mother was a hoarder — like, to the point where the paramedics couldn’t get in at first on the day she died. Now he’s dealing with the insane amount of stuff now that she’s gone, and recalling how it affected their relationship once he realized what was happening. Beautifully written, full of poignant details. (Inheriting The Hoard)

If only I could consume some wassail with this dude. Ryan Gosling never did it for me — although of course I sobbed my way through The Notebook — UNTIL NOW. Thanks, GQ. (GQ)

This is the best story about Bill Murray ever. I would have started quoting Ghostbusters to him like an idiot. (“Yes, it’s true. This man has no dick.”) (Lainey.)

– I love that Winona Ryder is giving interviews again, and also that she’s a total gossip and thinks TMZ is actually called TZM. Wino forever! (Celebitchy)

– The new R Kelly album sounds awesome in a way that may also be terrible, but which may then come back around to awesome. Clearly just regular awesome is this review, which includes the line, “I like a bonkers R. Kelly sex jam as much as the next person, but there are times I get more attached to his corny inspirational numbers and eerily precise Sam Cooke impressions.” We’ve all been there, right? I just like the phrase, “bonkers R. Kelly sex jam.” (Vulture)

No one at ET is proofreading. This is even better than the time E! kept flashing chyrons about “Brett Michaels.” The man had just had his brain explode! (NY Mag)

– I can’t decide if I’m horrified that this quiz has decided that, of all Jane Austen’s characters, I am Jane Fairfax (I keep seeing Gywneth wrinkling her nose), or stoked that this means I get to marry Ewan McGregor. (Seanchai)

– Did you ever see that Whit Stillman movie, Metropolitan? I was OBSESSED with it back in the day. It’s awesome that Design*Sponge just used it for a “Living In” feature. If only there was a place I could order my own Young Chris Eigemann. (Design*Sponge)

– Speaking of New York upper crust shenanigans, remind me not to stay at the Waldorf Astoria if it seems like a prince might pop into town. (NY Times)

– Puck Daddy — a hockey blog, not a compilation of all the fanfic in which Mark Salling impregnates people — wants to know if these are the worst hockey jerseys of the year. I vote YES.  In fact, maybe the worst OF ALL TIME. (Puck Daddy)

– The Cut tries to prognosticate what Kate Middleton’s wedding gown might look like; the Royal Family has put up a series of family engagement photos, past and present, on Flickr. This concludes your Royal Wedding Coverage for today. (The Cut/Flickr)