In case you’ve ever wondered why drugs are really that bad:
I rest my case.
And in case you’ve ever wondered why bangs can be dangerous:
I double-rest my case. Honestly, in choosing between Emily Valentine Spikes Brandon’s Drink With U4EA and Incites Shirtless Car-Dancing, and Emily Valentine Gets Little Dutch Boy Haircut and Speaks Earnestly While, Unbeknownst to Her, Kelly Is Caught in a House Fire With a Kindly Lesbian, I’ll take the U4EA every time.