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KIRSTEN STEWART: No comment. Can’t I keep my private life private???!

TAYLOR LAUTNER: Totally dreamy! Very Cedric Diggory of you, Rob. How do I look?

RPATTZ: Dreamy.

KSTEW: Double-dreamy. I like how you boys coordinated your ties.

RPATTZ: T. Laut and I have a connection, Kristen. I’m having him MC my Vegas show.


TLAUT: Can’t you tell from the outfit?

RPATTZ: I’m just going to be singing lounge music and playing the piano. Wearing this suit. Maybe without a shirt, and with more gold chains. It’s going to be called Cool Jazz With R Pattz. Or maybe, The Pirates of RPattzence! Hmm, but then I would need to hire pirates. It’s still a work in progress, precious girlfriend.

KSTEW: Don’t call me that. Anyway, can we talk about my outfit, rather than our relationship?

TLAUT; You look great!

RPATTZ: You’re so NICE to everyone, Taylor. But you forgot the end of that sentence. It ought to be. “You look great…except you needed to either HAVE a sleeve, or NOT have a sleeve.”

KSTEW: You’re just saying that because you haven’t seen this from the back.

Premiere Of Summit Entertainment's

TLAUT: That IS interesting! I love you guys!

RPATTZ: Interesting…ly CRACKED OUT.

KSTEW: Oh, shut up and vote: