Oh, Star Jones. I sort of forgot you existed. Remember when you were having feuds with 4 out of 5 New Yorkers and getting, like, everyone from Hot Pockets to Charmin to sponsor your wedding? And then you sort of disappeared off the face of the planet and we were all glad to see you go? And then you and Al got a divorced and everyone was like, “no kidding”? That must have been fun for you. But it seems that — like with many celebs — I didn’t know I cared about you until you had been gone for a long time. Sure, what I mostly missed was Tracy Morgan Jordan’s “I’M A LAWYER” impression of you that he used to do on SNL, and sure, that hasn’t seen the light of day for like 5 years, but be that as it may, I was kind of pleased to read the other day that you have a cute new boyfriend and I am sort of into your dress here…Sort of:

The Creative Coalition's 2009 Inaugural Ball at the Harman Center

[Photo: Splash]

I feel like the feathers — though very grand — start at a rather awkward spot. And yet I don’t know where they would be better placed: an all-feathers skirt? Just along the hem? From the knees down? HELP ME, READERS: