“HOLA LOVERS. I told you. I told you I would wear something shocking and fabuloso, just in case this is my last Lopez Idol and they have to change the name of this to Blige Idol or Gwen Idol or Tom Hanks’s Wife Idol¬†or whatever. (Psst: Do not tell but I will stay if they pay me as much as Britney is getting from Simon Cowell, and also if they build me a bonita glittery disease bubble.) I call this outfit Joan of Arcercise, because on my show here, I am the beautiful young warrior who fights Evil(smith) and looks good in pants and probably also has God’s iPhone number. What, lovers? I need it. He got me out of a jam a few times, like when Marc tried to make my spleen INTO jam. You don’t want to know. Or at least not until I write a book you can buy, lovers.”