This poster for the new season of Project Runway has allegedly been banned here in Los Angeles for being “too sexy,” but personally, I would like to ban it for being TOO STUPID. How stupid is it? Let me count the ways:

  1. Marie Antoinette, who is, I assume, the historical figure Heidi is referencing, was JAILED AND DECAPITATED so not really the sexy awesome role model to be emulating. Maybe try Elizabeth I next time. Or, I don’t know, REALIZE THAT HISTORICAL FIGURES HAVE LITERALLY NOTHING TO DO WITH A TV SHOW WHERE DESIGNERS SPEND MOST OF THEIR TIME BITCHING AT/WITH EACH OTHER AND THEN FOISTING OFTEN HIDEOUS CREATIONS UPON US. Unless it’s Project Historical Runway where every week they have to make something historically accurate for whatever time period they’re assigned — WWII, the Dark Ages, the Crusades, disco — and then they get judged by historians. For what it’s worth, I would watch that show!
  2. UM. Why is everyone naked? ON A SHOW ABOUT CLOTHES? Is it because….they need to be clothed by the contestants? And they really really REALLY want to get dressed and that’s why they’re all, like, WORSHIPING Heidie Klummette? In the hopes that she will hand them over to the people making the possibly hideous creations because at least a hideous creation is better than having your naked ass slapped on the side of a bus?
  3. Is her armrest composed of scissors? Is this also some weird Game of Thrones reference? WHAT IS HAPPENING OVER THERE, LIFETIME?
  4. My beloved Tim Gunn’s face says it all. And what all it says is: “This is stupid. I hate you all. I can’t believe you’re making me DO THIS. Can someone get my agent on the phone so I can get out of my contract YOU GUYS I HAVE CONCERNS. CONCERNS!!”

[Photo: Lifetime/Splash News]