Okay. Here’s the thing. This cover isn’t terrible, at all — although all the red doesn’t seem very August-y (Augustian?) — except for one giant neon problem. And I’m not even talking about the endless parade of celebrities wearing formal granny panties on every magazine cover in the world. Would you be able to identify this woman if she, say, ran you over with her car and then fled the scene? Because I could not. I would be all,  “officer, I’ve never seen her before in my life! She was very pretty. 40ish. She kind of looked like Cheryl Cole?” and that would be it. I don’t know if it’s Photoshop, this rather awkward angle, or her newly lightened hair (which I actually quite like), but lady doesn’t look much like Sofia Vergara — as pretty as she is.