Kate Bosworth apparently gave this issue of Lucky tips for instantaneous glowing skin. Tip number one is apparently, “Get Photoshopped.”

Between the schoolgirl look of the styling and the fact that 27-year old Kate appears to have had a decade wiped off her skin, I’m wondering if the new management at Lucky fancies turning it into Seventeen. Because aside from all that, there’s something bizarre happening to her face — the left side appears to be melting off, which evokes nothing to me so much as Old-School Joey Potter, and that reminds me that Kate used to be on the WB summer soap Young Americans (as a girl who fell in love with her maybe-brother). Which in turn reminds me that she co-starred with one Ian Somerhalder of The Vampire Diaries and Lost (who fell in love with The L Word’s Katherine Moenning, whose character was pretending to be a boy, and who thus made Mr. Damon Salvatore think he was gay for several episodes), and then up come the memories of Michelle Monaghan on that show — she was a cardboard Liv Tyler at the time; still is, actually — and then Wikipedia tells me we also had Matt Czurchy of Gilmore Girls and The Good Wife, and so as it turns out that terrible, achingly awful eight-episode show was secretly a breeding ground for name actors. [And get this: Young Americans was created by none other than Steven Antin, who is not only a brother to Robin Antin (of Pussycat Dolls fame) and hairstylist Jonathan Antin (Blow Out) but who went on to direct a little movie you might’ve heard of called Burlesque. All of which only tells me that Young Americans could have been simultaneously SO MUCH WORSE and SO MUCH BETTER.]

None of which will make Kate feel any better about this cover, because not only does she look like this copy of the magazine was left on top of a working microwave, but now we’ve all remembered her dirty little acting past on a network whose mascot was a frog in a top hat. Sorry, Kate. Maybe next time don’t let them make you tip your head unless you get photo approval.