A scene from GFY HQ:

JESSICA: I think I’m going to write about Kim Kardashian’s HEINOUS GOLD perfume ads.

HEATHER: I hope the perfume is called Heinous Gold. I’d buy that.


The problem, of course, is that for the Kardashians to call one of Kim’s Precious Income Sources something like Heinous Gold, they’d have to have a sense of humor and when it comes to marketing Kim, they do not. I would like to say, however, for the record that I think KHLOE has a sense of humor, and I ALSO predict here and now that Khloe and Lamar will be married longer than Kim and Kris. I’d also like to say, ALSO for the record, that I am pretty sure this…thing….in this photo is not Kim Kardashian at all, but, in fact, a WAX FIGURINE of her. And, listen, I’ve often said that I want a clone — before realizing that my clone, being my clone, would argue with me about not wanting to do the ironing either — but if you’re truly going to go all the way and make a ROBOT SELF, DO NOT send the ROBOT to do your HEINOUS GOLD perfume ads. The robot makes personal appearances at which it can be silent, and sits in on business meetings. The robot CAN NOT be your public face and if you start thinking it can, you NEED A VACATION. TAKE A VACATION, KIM. TAKE A LONG, LONG VACATION. FAR AWAY. FAR AWAY FROM EVERYONE. Can I suggest THE MOON?