I am really disappointed in Natalie Portman. If she’d only thought to get pregnant/engaged to a dude named, like, Bob Teau, then their portmanteau could be… Portmanteau. It seems douchey to say, “I hope she remembers that next time,” so instead I will suggest that IF it’s determined that she and her fiance are parting ways under the most amicable and pain-free circumstances, she should consider putting a notice on Craigslist for Mr. Teau to show himself.

Pregnancy does look good on her, though. Apparently her main craving is for collars:

First the gold one, and now this red ring. However, the close-up here helps her cause because when I saw this from a distance, I thought she was wearing a really weird white necktie:

Now that I know it’s a splash of daring, I like the dress better — but I do still find it a bit drab. Now, I understand the temptation to go for caftans: She’s probably at the point in her pregnancy that I always called “Pregnant or Donuts,” where people can’t tell if you’re gestating or just doing a lot of snacking. And I remember being kind of impatient for that phase to end, so that I could wear stuff that hugged the bump and nobody would be like, “Aw, honey, try SIX donuts instead of twelve next time.” That being said, unless you live under a parked car, you probably know Natalie Portman is pregnant, so I hope for the Globes she embraces it and bumps out in something slinkier than a Jolie-style sheet. Actually, I REALLY hope she gets one of those empathy bellies and shows up looking full Zeta-Jones, from when she was about to give birth practically on-stage at the Oscars. It would be very surprising, and then if she wins she’ll have a more dramatic picture to show her future sprog.

What do you think of her maternity wear?

  • Gorgeous and perfect (17%, 1,334 Votes)
  • Blah (60%, 4,802 Votes)
  • Hiiiiiideous. (23%, 1,834 Votes)

Total Voters: 7,970

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