No. 4 KATE HUDSON vs. No. 5 ROSARIO DAWSON
This is like the battle of two gorgeous women who do terrible things to themselves via clothing. Both of you have scored in the genetic lottery and you are SQUANDERING YOUR WINNINGS!
This is a waste:
And I am a person who LOVES crazy pants — LOVES THEM — and these are still giving me a migraine.
This is a pillowcase:
This is…just fabric, mostly?
This is half-assed and fully flappy:
This next one is just unflattering, which ought to be impossible. Kate Hudson: Making the impossible possible since…well, for like six months or something.
I feel like she lost a bet with J Lo and ergo was then STYLED by J Lo AS J Lo for this event. She even looks shell-shocked.
I needs must remind you that these pants are totally sheer:
As in Buttcheeks Sheer. (Buttcheeks Sheer is one of my pseudonyms, btw.)
At least Rosario Dawson did not flash us her bum, though maybe that would have distracted from whatever this is:
HER PELVIS IS VOMITING. This dress makes it look like it is LITERALLY FROZEN IN THE ACT OF BARFING. It’s one of the worst dresses of the year. (Sorry, Rosario.)
Honestly, this is also really bad:
And these next two are related, and I sadly don’t like either of them. It’s the worst family reunion ever:
Zzzz. This next one isn’t actually terrible, it’s just bad ON HER:
Which…Rosario Dawson is lovely and yet clearly this dress hates her. This next one looks sort of like she cobbled it together from bits and bobs she found at CostPlus:
At least she seems like she might be fun:
No bonus points for fun!
Whose fug reigns supreme?
- Kate Hudson (54%, 2,825 Votes)
- Rosario Dawson (46%, 2,432 Votes)
Total Voters: 5,255
No 1. LADY GAGA vs. No. 8 NICOLE RICHIE
I love this picture of Gaga. I want to use it as my new profile pic on all my online dating profiles:
Yes. She wore an Elizabethan ruff out and about. She also dressed like the evil headmistress in a period piece about plucky orphans who ends up down the well at the end of the two hours:
She modeled some lingerie and wacky eye make-up:
She went through a SERIOUS 80s phase that makes me laugh every time:
WHAT, STEFANIE? Nooo. (Although honestly I might wear the top with jeans. Don’t tell anyone.)
This just makes me want Gaga to take a job playing a tough-as-nails Jersey girl (with a heart of gold) in a period piece that’s like Moonstruck meets Working Girl:
This was her reminder to Rihanna that she, too, can wear a bathrobe and undies as outerwear:
And I don’t know WHAT this is, other than HILARIOUS and insane:
And vaguely Egyptian.
Whereas this is vaguely avian:
And EVERYONE else in that shot hates it.
Nicole Richie had LOTS of different hair colors this year, which I had forgotten until just now:
She weirdly manages to work A LOT of them, and they’re also nicely distracting from her outfits sometimes. After all, if we’re looking at her purple hair, we’re too busy to parse whatever that dress actually WAS.
She’s purple here, too, but it doesn’t distract from THE BRA:
I think this is green, which does kind of match the Grey Gardens Disintegrating Flower Beds feeling of this dress:
She eventually moved onto pink, and black-lacquered wicker:
And musty blue paired with a sheer jumpsuit:
And teal with the finest from the Bea Arthur Collection:
And dusty rose and panties:
Dusty Rose and the Panties is a really underappreciated album, by the way.
Whose fug reigns supreme?
- Lady Gaga (69%, 3,586 Votes)
- Nicole Richie (31%, 1,606 Votes)
Total Voters: 5,188