Every time we do these, we open the voting post by saying something about how hilarious you people are. And every time, we think, “I bet they think we’re just saying that.” But we’re not. And this week’s Freaky Fug Friday proves that in spades. We do not think it’s hyperbole to say that GFY has the funniest, smartest readers in the universe (SUCK IT, New York Times!), and to that end, Jessica and I couldn’t decide on three finalists. I don’t think we’ve ever had this tough a time, because we spent so much of that time giggling. In the end, after a really long back and forth, we only barely narrowed it down to four. And so, here are the four entries in contention for the prize: a copy of Mad Men: The Illustrated World, by Dyna Moe. Are you ready? Good. Finalists, tweet the hell out of it to rally your troops:

1) By cchavs:

BREAKING DOWN

“Don’t look back,” Edwin murmured, the light glittering in his perfect eyes, shining off his beautiful face.

Today had been the worst. I’d woken up my kitchen, wearing my grandmother’s wedding dress, the felt hat I wore as Oliver Twist last year in the school play and my Uncle Charlie’s house slippers. I felt like I was going crazy, but my beautiful Edwin assured me it was perfectly normal. He told me that I was in grave danger and that we had to leave town immediately. I looked at his perfect face and in my heart, I knew he was right.

But what Bel didn’t know was that she was slowly… breaking down.

2) By Laura

HANDMADE HARLOT

Estelle has turned her back on her Amish upbringing in favor of a fast paced life full of asphalt & rubber soles to escape a sordid secret, but will those beautifully crafted electric fireplaces & intricate doilies ever really let her go?

“This plot moves faster than a two pony cart!” – The Amish Review
“Those electric heaters are REALLY fantastic” – Another Satisfied Customer

3) By Hayley

MOTHER, MAY I SLEEP WITH ROAD SAFETY?

A thriller centered on international nightwear model Delia Fluffy, whose life is turned into a dangerous game of hide and seek when she is stalked by a mysterious yellow road marking. This year, terror is… working infrastructure. Don’t cross the street alone…

4) By Foo

MY DAMN OVARIES

Isabel Ovary is disenchanted with her life. Weary of ill-conceived affairs and her husband’s desire for another child, she impulsively strikes off down love’s highway. Rushing into the night clad only in her chemise and her husband’s slippers and sweater, she looks back only briefly before embarking on the road to perceived happiness.

Follow Isabel on her journey over pavement and under the linens of society. Feel the coldness exemplified by the thick sweater she carries as her life’s burden. Cry out with her as the metaphorical rocks strewn across her path pierce her tender feet through her slippers. Pray as she prays that a large logging truck will not mow her down while she lays mired in the apathy of the disaffected. And feel, as she feels, a woman out of place; out of time; out of her mind wearing a virginal chemise to a ladies luncheon.

Pick it:

  • No. 1 (30%, 2,013 Votes)
  • No. 2 (37%, 2,524 Votes)
  • No. 3 (13%, 852 Votes)
  • No. 4 (21%, 1,427 Votes)

Total Voters: 6,816

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