I need your eagle eyes, Fug Nation:

2010 ESPY Awards, Los Angeles

Is there something wack about this gold dress? I don’t know if it’s an optical illusion, encroaching derangement, or an actual problem, but to me the bodice of that thing looks a) really BIG; b) so big that it reminds me of Ye Olde Playtex 18-Hour Bra; c) unflattering; and d) as though the right half is not even really attached to her chest.

Other pics haven’t brought me clarity:

18th Annual ESPY Awards - Arrivals

Still sort of looks ginormous on her…

18th Annual ESPY Awards - Arrivals

… and in this shot, it’s just slouchy. I don’t know. Something here is stuck in my craw, and it’s going to take a lot more than peanut butter and some nail scissors to cut it out. But I will say, bonus points to Bianca for being utterly cheerful in these and pretty much every other picture. If I had just found out my estranged-but-maybe-not-anymore husband MIGHT have fathered a child with some other lady, even if we were on a break at the time, I probably would not be laughing and smiling. Indeed, I’d probably be tragic and mad, and have chocolate in my hair. So in that sense, BK here is heroic.

Tags: ESPYs