KRISTEN STEWART: Oh, God. Our category is coming up next.

ROBERT PATTINSON: Is it reeeeeally?

KRISTEN: Please don’t let us win best movie. Please. COME ON, INCEPTION.

R.PATTZ: Oh REALLY.

KRISTEN: We’re up for Best Onscreen Team, too, right? I mean, that’s totally Steve Carell and Tina Fey from Date Night, hey? We aren’t even a team! We are more of… an autonomous collective.

R.PATTZ: Really!

KRISTEN: I’m going to be sick.

R.PATTZ: Ew, really?

KRISTEN: Will you stop acting like a moron?

R.PATTZ: Sorry. I just can’t believe you still can’t handle going up on stage for this stuff. We’ve only won eleventy billion of these things. And you look so nice tonight!

KRISTEN: Really?

R.PATTZ: Don’t steal my bit.

KRISTEN: Sorry.

R.PATTZ: But you do. So let’s take a look. Beginning with dragging you up on stage.

KRISTEN: No. No, no, NO!

R.PATTZ: Yes, yes, yes.