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# The Fugrist
- URL: https://www.gofugyourself.com/307041/
- Published: 2010-12-15T16:00:51.000Z
- Updated: 2026-10-29T22:39:20.000Z
- Author: Jessica  
- Tags: fugs, velvet, wearing black, #wp, #wp-post, #Import 2026-10-07 07:27, Angelina Jolie

First of all, if they ever really do make that live-action movie about Maleficent, Angelina IS perfect for it. In this particular outfit, she's also perfect for the role of:

1. Bloomingdale's most prolific/irritatingly gorgeous glove saleswomen.
2. a woman who knows she could commit murder at ANY MOMENT and thus has equipped herself to NEVER leave fingerprints ANYWHERE.
3. someone with a tragic and rare disorder wherein ONLY her hands and forearms are allergic to sunlight.
4. a lady with a neurotic, near-debilitating fear of losing her gloves.
5. Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Dexter Rowan
6. Joan Collins in the film adaptation of *Joan Collins: I'm Joan F'ing Collins*, a book I just now decided to write.
7. a cat-burglar, duh. Who only cat-burgles with her arms, because who could clamber over window sills in that skirt?
8. a smack-prone woman who worries that slapping men across the face with her gloves isn't painful enough, but slapping them bare-handed is just too gauche.
9. someone married to a dude with a previously undiscovered glove fetish. Quick, someone call TMZ!