First of all, if they ever really do make that live-action movie about Maleficent, Angelina IS perfect for it:

In this particular outfit, she’s also perfect for the role of:

  1. Bloomingdale’s most prolific/irritatingly gorgeous glove saleswomen.
  2. a woman who knows she could commit murder at ANY MOMENT and thus has equipped herself to NEVER leave fingerprints ANYWHERE.
  3. someone with a tragic and rare disorder wherein ONLY her hands and forearms are allergic to sunlight.
  4. a lady with a neurotic, near-debilitating fear of losing her gloves.
  5. Alexis Morrell Carrington Colby Dexter Dexter Rowan
  6. Joan Collins in the film adaptation of Joan Collins: I’m Joan F’ing Collins, a book I just now decided to write.
  7. a cat-burglar, duh. Who only cat-burgles with her arms, because who could clamber over window sills in that skirt?
  8. a smack-prone woman who worries that slapping men across the face with her gloves isn’t painful enough, but slapping them bare-handed is just too gauche.
  9. someone married to a dude with a previously undiscovered glove fetish. Quick, someone call TMZ!