I’ve decided on a small moratorium on using A Certain Actor’s name on this site, because we deploy that hot bomb a lot, and — much like that of Pacey before him — if we type it too often, it may start losing all meaning, and that would be a catastrophe. So instead, let’s turn our eyes to That Dapper Man’s co-star, Elisabeth Moss.
Pro: Great color.
Con: The lazy half-sleeve makes the neck ruffle look like a cheap grass skirt.
Pro: It’s figure-flattering, for sure. And her skin is perfect.
Con: She reminds me of Miss Scarlett in Clue.
Pro: She reminds me of Miss Scarlett in Clue.
Con: Miss Scarlett ran a house of ill-repute.
Pro: Miss Scarlett was also awesome.
Con: Come on, everyone knows Mrs. Peacock was the star of that movie.
Pro: “Our LIVES are in danger, you beatnik!”
Con: No, sorry, that movie is all about Mrs. White.
Pro: “Flames… on the side of my face… heaving… bre… breathless… heaving breaths…”
Con: No, dude, Wadsworth is the money.
Pro: He buttles!
Con: Monkey’s brains, though popular in Cantonese cuisine, are not often to be found in Washington, D.C.!
Pro: “I… am… your singing telegram…”
Con: “It’s a simple matter of life after death. Now that he’s dead, I have a life.”
Pro: “Mrs. Peacock was a MAN?!?”
Con: This isn’t helping with any decision-making.
Pro: “One plus two… plus one… is…”