Technically, we missed two, but the above Self Portrait ensemble is the more noteworthy. File this along with Keri Russell’s top under Super Fussy Shirts That Don’t Work But Are Being Deep-Fried In The Wearer’s Alluring Aura. Unlike Keri’s, I do think this veers as close as Marion ever gets to looking silly; it’s objectively hideous, as if a mime and a clown went on Project Runway as a design team. But then I think about how Marion would be really good in the movie of those shenanigans, and now I’m smiling — I just cast Vincent Cassel as one of her rivals and Kevin Kline as Tim Gunn — so that’s at least something. Glee counts.

70th annual Cannes Film Festival - 70th Anniversary Gala Dinner - Arrivals

Her shoes look like she’s had laces implanted in her skin, but y’all, that shirt is straight-up Alexis Carrington Colby Makes Her Rivals Weep With Lust. And I cannot be mad about it. This one, she is selling.

[Photos: Getty, WENN]